Favorite Albums: 2000-2004
45. Limp Bizkit, Chocolate Starfish & The Hot Dog Flavored Water
Original position: #35
A robot announces a) this is not a test b) this is reality and c) Limp Bizkit is in the house. Fred declares that everything in the fucking world is fucking fucked up, subtly suggests he’s not happy with Trent Reznor and says that you can’t build an empire without us because we’ve got the torch now to burn this motherfucker. He then announces that, while he and his generation won’t give a fuck until you give a fuck, he believes they can fly. After threatening to knock you straight the fuck out for talking shit about him, he confirms that he will do things his way, his way or the highway (presumably the highway on which Limp Bizkit is rollin’ rollin’ rollin’). Confident in his majesty, he declares Ben Stiller his “favorite motherfucker,” tells “Mrs. Aguilera” to “come and get some,” and celebrates being a crazy motherfucker living life in the fast lane.
Despite this apparent glory, he admits to you that he feels “dead from all the loneliness” and that “understanding everything has never been my deal.” Still…could you be The One? After sparring with Xzibit for funsies, he notes that you want to hate him because “hate is all the world has ever seen lately.” Then you go and leave him a Dear John letter. Despite self-assurances that “it’ll be OK” he wallows in your absence for two tracks before collapsing into shrieks of “WHYYYYYYY???????” Scott Weiland tells him to “hold on,” and soon enough he’s rollin’ rollin’ rollin’ with DMX, Redman and Method Man before chilling with Ben Stiller in the studio and enjoying phone calls with Mark Wahlberg, Rob Drydek and the guy from Third Eye Blind.
In my darker moments, this album makes perfect sense to me.
